Perspective - Mine has been warped.

     Perspective is a funny thing.  Everyone has one and we usually think ours is the right one.  I have absolutely been guilty of this way of thinking. (and probably will again) I give you permission to ask Brandon Carrell for confirmation of this fact.   We are so much about ourselves that it is ridiculous.  The sad thing is that I'm not sure we always know it.  Are we so accustomed to a certain way of thinking and viewing things that we do not even know how selfish we really are?  I was the worst of the worst. 
     We definitely do not know what it is like to be hungry or want for anything that we truly need.  Friends said it well last night.  "If we went over to another country and could see what it really meant to hunger" we would be forever changed.  I am not only talking about food but what we really need to sustain us. ( Matthew 4:4: Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'" ) There are people all across this world who hunger for the word of God.  They literally risk their lives just to have a moment of the nourishment that one verse may bring.  Yet, to us, too often, it's just something to check off because we are 'supposed to do it.'  We want to be able to raise our hands if someone asks us if we read today. How often do we serve this same way?   Come on! It's not about what we are 'supposed to do.' It's certainly not about what someone else thinks we should do.  (Hopping down from my soap box)
     Perspective. I have had the blessed opportunity to look at myself in the mirror over the last many weeks.  This was not just any old mirror. This was the mirror that the Lord was holding up and let me tell you, that can be a humbling mirror to look into. I found my perspective to be way far off of what He said it should be. When I looked at myself through God's eyes, I did not like what I saw.  To others, it could have appeared that I was doing all the 'right' things.  If you took a look at my list of things that I was supposed to do as a Christian, all the boxes were all checked.  My perspective was so warped and I'm thankful that He is teaching this stubborn student how change it, though I will admit to you that it is often uncomfortable and difficult.  However, the crazy unexplainable passion that is being embedded in my heart is so powerful that I do not care. 

We are settling for a Christianity that revolves around catering to ourselves when the central message of Christianity is actually about abandoning ourselves.”
― David Platt, Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream
    
     I was saved 14 years ago and for the first time in those 14 years, I think that I am understanding what it means to be in love with the Lord and to 'hunger' for Him.  Perspective.  I think I've got all my junk in order and then the Lord shows up and says 'Umm No you don't.' Check this out! I'm a work in progress who is ever so thankful for His grace and mercy that I do not deserve.

and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:19

Eyes Wide Open

    We just returned from our trip to Boston.  I love the sweet city of Boston, Mass.  It is truly one of my favorite places to visit with it's rich history, beautiful brownstones, and friendly people.  As much as I was looking forward to the time away, it is always terribly hard for me to leave my kiddos.  Things just aren't right when all of our family is not together. 
     This trip was different from any other and I believe and hope any trips from this point on would be different for us.  The Lord has done such a crazy work in the hearts of the Brandana and I.  We see things differently.  We look at church differently.  We look at people differently.  We look at opportunity differently.  The list goes on.  So, it was no surprise that my perspective on this trip was different.  It was fun and relaxing but as I was driving through beautiful Boston in our rented mustang convertible, I found myself quiet often.  These times of silence were the times I was listening to the Lord and watching all that He was calling to my attention. 
     Here we were zipping through the narrow streets trying to find our way while we passed person after person begging for food, money, or work.  I saw more than one person going through the trash and remembering how I wanted to yell 'stop the car' and do something, anything.  I found myself wanting to empty my pockets to all these people.  It was heart wrenching. Heart wrenching because there we were spending money on something so unimportant...money that could have changed the lives of these people. 

     I am thankful for the opportunity to go and rest and rejuvenate.  However, my greatest gratitude lies in the  fact that the Lord used it to continue to open my eyes and my heart to the truth around me.  He used the trip to continue to drive home the fact that there is so much more that we can do to love people and share Him with them. He choreographed this trip to serve a purpose way beyond what it was planned for in our selfishness.  Though I needed the rejuvenation and time away (at least I thought I did), what I needed more was to have my heart pierced even deeper for people and a world that needs the Lord.  Pray with us as we continue to step with our eyes wide open. 
     Lord, what shall we do?