A Day Unexpected

Today, my best friend found out she had breast cancer. The lump was found Sunday and we went to the doctor on Tuesday. It was a scary discovery but statistics painted a hopeful picture. The mammogram was scheduled for Thursday and I kept my phone close by all morning expecting the call to say all is well. Another call came in its place. “They think it’s cancer. I need chocolate.” Chocolate is the cure all in case you didn’t know. This is common knowledge to all women. There are not many things a hot bath and chocolate won’t cure. Cancer is one of the things that a nice hunk of chocolate won’t cure nor will a hot bath soothe it away. In spite of this, I made a hurried trip to the convenience store and grabbed whatever chocolate that I could, all the while battling the irritation that my friend needs me and I’m getting chocolate, for
goodness sakes!

Arriving at the hospital , I found myself almost numb. As I walked through those automatic doors that I had walked through a thousand times before, they took on a new meaning. They were the gateway to a new unexpected season. I had been praying all morning but now my prayer was “Lord keep me composed that I may be a pillar of strength for her to see and draw from – that she may see You through me- strength, hope, and promise of a future.” I walk into the corridor and see the sign: RADIOLOGY. It seems so much bigger than it ever had before. There were a handful of people in the waiting room. Were they patients nervously waiting for a dreaded test? Were they family members hoping for good news? In the midst of those waiting, my people were not present. It seemed to all go so quickly. The lump was found, mammogram done and suddenly within minutes we were waiting for the doctor to perform a biopsy. What the heck happened?

She was just one would expect: scared to the bone. I asked God ‘what do I say?’. He said nothing. I asked God ‘what do I do?’ He said nothing. And then I realized that was His answer. I didn’t have to have the ‘right’ words. Just be there. Hold her hand. Let her cry. Love her. Help her process all this that He is allowing to happen. Help her keep her eyes on Him because that is where peace is found. Who better to provide peace that Peace himself? “In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight.”

It seemed to take forever for Brandon to get there. I think we all needed him there. It wasn’t the same without us all there. From the moment, the lump was found, we were bound together in a new way that we couldn’t not have imagined. The biopsy is over and we are all still in shock. Standing in the dark room listening to the doctor’s direct but very positive words, I found myself staring intently at the white blot on my friend’s mammogram on the screen. The enemy is what I immediately called it. Would it always be known as that? The Lord has a unique way of exposing the ugly as beauty when we least expect it.

Lunch? Really? Yes, lunch. We had lunch after leaving the hospital. How could we eat in the midst of all this? Because life goes on. And life is what we will be thankful for. No one is dying here. It’s a bump in the road and we are going to get over this bump together…starting with fajita bites and a chicken ceasar salad at Montana’s.

How do I go about my normal day when I don’t want to leave her side? She might need me. She might need us. Same answer. Life goes on. Practice makes perfect, right? So, we practice this new normal until it feels normal and becomes normal.

Will I sleep tonight? Will she sleep tonight? Will our men sleep tonight? Laying in bed, the tears came. I didn’t try to stop them and my husband did what he does and was just there – my safe place. Thank you Lord for this season. I will thank you for this experience. I will thank you on her behalf until she can thank you herself.